How to fix yourself — negative compounding
I just need to get this rant off my chest because those around me are not that interested in self-development.
I have been on the path of self-development for 14 years, I have started from nothing and I have led a company to grow with over 500 staff working for us and we are still growing. I have lost 36kg before, gave up social drinking, given up many things, done a lot of fitness, recovered from heart problems, ran away from depression by making sure I am progressing continuously. I have the experience to fix myself and others, my job as a leader is to help those around me to become better people.
There are too many challenges to list here, from getting people on the path of self-development, motivating people and lifting there limiting beliefs. It's very difficult to push people or try to convince them, the truth is success leaves clues and we can all read books or ask those successful around us for advice or to mentor them, but people have already convinced themselves that they cannot be fixed or they have already identified themselves as a loser.
Most people need to be inspired by seeing real people in action, or they hit new rock bottoms and they have had enough. Changing one's mindset is one of the first steps, opening yourself and removing limiting beliefs that are keeping you down, if you identify yourself as a smoker you will always be one if you keep calling yourself a loser your brain is listening.
Money compounds, education compounds but sadly problems compound also.
Lets take “Dave” as an example, he smokes and isn't happy about it, because he smokes he has no self-control, (losing self-control manifests in all areas) so he eats bad food, he's not happy and he's getting fat, now he's not working as much because he's not happy or he's becoming disabled or sick, now Dave has to take medicine and he's suffering from more problems, he can no longer have sex, so he smokes more and eats more, now he's angry and shouts at his family, now they are not happy back, so Dave gets depressed and spends money on drinking or going out or smoking more, now he's smoking/eating more, getting fatter and needs more medicine, Dave now hasn’t been working enough, or hes doing a low paying job or hes having time off, now he has more debt than ever and isn't motivated anymore, an unhappy Dave isn't confident anymore, hes not positive to be around, so all of his successful and happy mates avoid him, now Dave is surrounded by losers and his mindset is dragged down…. Dave is in a bad place and all his problems are compounding, none of this is Daves fault of course, because if he took ownership of his problems, it would make him angrier because he would have to face them and be responsible… losers blame everyone else, so nothing gets fixed.
My advice for Dave would to become aware that everything listed above is his fault, take ownership of it. All of these actions he chose to do, we all get problems, but its the way we deal with it, laugh or fight them off. Go to your bedroom Dave and tidy that first, get some control back, start making small decisions to get some control, those small decisions such as waiting extra time for cigarettes or throwing half of your chocolate bar away while you are eating is good to get some strength back in your mind, your mind is unfit and you need to exercise it by restraining yourself, to quit smoking or drinking, you need to want to really do it, you need to think about the benefits that are coming, not the fact you are quitting and counting down the days. Your lungs will clear up and you have gained extra years, now your sex life will be healthy again, you may exercise more and need fewer tablets, now you can fight or run if you want or be a man and play with your kids without getting out of breath, once you lose weight you don’t need all those medicines, you can carry your own weight and rescue your child from a lake or a burning house. It's not about you, it about those around you, I have never cared for myself, but I think about those that depend on me, so I take ownership and sort myself out.
Once you have fixed your mindset and got mentally strong again, you can give up everything bad easily, but be aware if you pick up bad food, or the cigarettes again, everything else will start going bad again, (talking from experience) The way I see it, is we are skating on thin ice, so Dave shouldn’t make bad decisions and break that ice or your underwater again and its a tough challenge to get out again.
The power of compounding works with you and against you, don’t be like Dave, everything is your fault and you need to quit everything for others around you, not for yourself, no one wants to be around you Dave, sort yourself out and you will be surrounded by winners again. You don’t want pity or sympathy from people, it's going to become addictive and easy to get. Losers will follow you to make themselves feel better, they might even feed you more bad food, get you to drink more or encourage your bad habits to drag you down, so they don’t feel so bad about their situation. They may love you but love doesn’t get the job done. Having a few haters/enemies around you is far healthier because watching them enjoy your demise, should motivate you enough to prove them wrong and piss them off by prospering.
You are the average of your 5 friends, I tell all successful people this to get people around them to lift them to higher success but it works against you if your friends are like Dave.
This may have come off as rude, but I wrote this out of frustration, I want to fix the world, but I cannot, if I have embarrassed any snowflakes, be sure to identify yourself in the comments below because the chances are, you need help like Dave. If you need help, contact me, I am happy to give people some home truths and put you on the path to being fixed, let me know its all your fault and we can talk, because that's the first step to getting yourself fixed.
If you have a Dave in your life, maybe you can share with him this article, you might just save someone's ass. If he gets angry, maybe its enough to motivate him.
For me, its key to exercise 6 am every day and everything else falls into place, making that decision to get up and just do it without hesitation, eating healthy food because I have been to the gym, less medicine needed, strong mind all around, the minute I get injured or cannot exercise at 6am, everything falls out of place and I struggle to get out of the rut again. Health, finances, sex life, fitness, fewer problems, happier, happier family. I am doing it for my family.
I don’t want to be like Dave again, so I need to keep my bedroom tidy, wake up early, eat healthy food, exercise and my family are a lot better off. Every problem I created myself was my fault, I deserved it, I needed punishment, it was my teacher. When you have had enough, enjoy the punishment for what it is, then at some pointyou get fed up and angry, that's your call to rise and take dramatic action, end your punishment and take the blame for everything onwards.
